Garoto jovem, da Albânia.

Cresceu na América,

mas não pertence aqui. 

"Vou embora!" - ele disse.

"Estou saindo com uma menina, mas não gosto dela"

"Então pare de vê la" - eu falei. 

Ele olhou pra mim e disse,

"Na verdade o que eu estou procurando é por alguém como você".

Em 15 minutos de viagem,

o motorista do Uber,

chegou ao meu destino final:

O de procurar o que não posso encontrar;

O de viver sem se achar;

O de pertencer sem se identificar.

Houve um dia,

Quando cheguei na América

Que eu me apaixonei por um garoto da Albânia. 

the babysitter with a babysitter.

After the winter there is always summer.

As I looked at the eyes reflection of the Uber driver in the mirror, 

I could realize that he was as tired as I was.

He was searching the map for the next ride
and I was hoping the next ride would get me home. 

Only one color of blue eyes

is worth looking at.

One froze me for years

workers tend to dream about their jobs

Everyone has someone who they should have gone after

Going out to meet friends 

That I don't know

To maybe sleep with the guy

That I don't love

You, latin-americans, love to work with fabric

said the Manhattan gallerist 

no hugs and kisses

only handshakes

A maior decepção 

foi perceber que até quem eu agradava

me tratava com separação. 


O americano quer dizer 

que inventou a piñata 

mas na verdade 

só sabe usar o bastão. 

It's just so much to say

that I don't know how to verbalize it

It keeps me silent


I have dreams where I try to scream

In order to save my life

But I have no voice

The rich white american girl, with a canvas full of war planes in her expensive living room.

The name of the painting was "Palestinian mornings".

Anxiety of Absence

The empty house made me think about my life. 

3 floors, 

30 years.


with myself.


with strangers.

The walls are empty.

I woke up from a nap in the afternoon and

I went downstairs to get the mail.

For a moment reality felt as a dream.

It came up to my mind

When am I going to wake up?

Waking up and being home. 

knowing the language

makes bridges become handshakes.
I found in swimming a way to deal with my mind, full of insecurities.

When I'm submerse in water it feels like my brain stops and I have only to deal with my breath and my heartbeat.

The bottom of the pool, full of black and white tiles makes me realize how fast I'm moving, in a scale of life, getting better at it everyday.

I'm not a professional swimmer, as I'm not a professional artist, as I'm not a professional lover, as I'm not a professional daughter.

Being inside the water, gives me tranquility. What is around me is mute, silent. When I go up to breathe, I see the caos. People beside me makes everything moves in angry waves.

If we 

make it

we're all


make it



Yesterday I thought I saw an angel
In the subway.

The light on his head,
His leather jacket,
and his handbag,
It was just like a movie scene.

For a moment I thought,
does he exist for everyone else?

He looked at me the entire time.
It was his way of saying
Hello, Im here.
A hello of an old guy with a very particular grey hair.

My truth is not your truth.

I don't know anyone here

But I just came to say hello.

What if it was winter all the time

Sans Solei

The chances of living close to the sea are smaller than the chances of living far away from it.

As I move, I question myself if I am in the right place.

Image world of memory

- the past,

Belief and expectation

- the future,

Makes me think

"I see him"

Sooner or later

During duration of time

Realities of actual situations

Shows me that 

This is not a valid statement. 



New York, 2017

Online likes

Mistaken matches

Everyone has the photo but not the real picture

Meanwhile I wake up really early

To go to work  

Alguém se foi.

E esse alguém

foi eu. 

If I don't speak the language

Can I be myself?

Language is canceling me.

Phones and the anxiety it carries within. The message behind the wait. The answer that you erased many times before you sent. The noise or the vibration that it means excitement. Excitement for something new arriving. Something new that might be fake. And you will never know, because everything and everyone nowadays is protected with a password. 

If you see something/say something. 

Do people see more than they should?

The fact that I was leaving the city
Got us together and closer. 

People that I was avoiding to see

made me happy again

Sometimes we forget of how many friends we have. 

Who are you,

If you don't have any followers?

Still dreaming of 









I just sit and watch it move

with fear that I will fall inside. 

"You don't need to say sorry, this is New York" someone told me.

Meeting great artists that I admire gives me anxiety of influence

It's just so weird to think that something you felt deep inside of you, goes away with nothing but time.

It's funny being 

on the other side

And seeing that 

the other side

has a projected image

of this side

and this side

doesn't care about 

the other


After I moved to New York

I realized so many good
and mostly bad things
about myself
That I actually feel like
I'm becoming someone else

The weather today

Rainy and grey

And the smell in the air

reminded me of

Taiwan, Taipei

A memory that I didn't have
for a long time

I could see the streets
I didn't remember that it was rainy all the time

And the rain now,
in the other side of the world,
made me feel the same way
As years ago.

So many talented and beautiful people

have come through my way.
It inspires me to create.
To be myself.
But it gives me anxiety to think that they might give up on expressing their creativity because of the pressure of society
to be someone*****
You are already someone!!!
Please, don't stop.
That's what I say.
At the end, I'm almost falling through the abysm myself.

Lacan famously defined love as giving something you dont have to someone who doesnt want it.

Quantas paixões você vive em uma terra estrangeira?

When there is a bird singing, I know that I will be happy to wake up there. 

I've been having dreams of wet swimming days of sex & death

I would have loved you but it was all just a dream.

É mais legal conhecer alguém novo

Do que interagir com quem já existe

E também tá longe





Sou livre

Não pertenço à nenhum lugar

Hamal, the Bangladeshi guy that bought Zara winter coats to send his parents because they would never see one or wear it, but they made it.

When you stop judging, you stop being afraid.

New York

A city that begins and ends in a subway station.

Where am I in the world?
Under the same sun as you.

The same sun that has a different intensity.

A vontade de 




Morar sem se fixar

Passear sem voltar

A volta sem ser longa

A ida sem ter retorno

Do cansaço do breve

Do até logo

Do longo "até a próxima"

A próxima que não acontece 

Por que partir sem ter pra que voltar

Fica mais fácil ir

tudo pra tentar encontrar

o que/quem faz sentido pra mim

Relacionamentos &

A destruição de tudo que é belo. 


Um vida sem


Até agora não fiz o que eu deveria ter feito desde o começo

Homens casados

Sempre acham uma desculpa
Para serem solteiros


Completamente perdida

Vai na fé

A vida é igual pra quem vive e não vê o outro.

As he used my soap
I recorded the time we spent together

As he left
I added one more clock on my phone
Because time and affection has changed its timezone
And I was left alone

Pior que inverno é chuveiro que não esquenta.

O tempo passa
As pessoas mudam
Os cachorros morrem
Os lugares fecham
Acaba a água
Sai a presidente
O vizinho que morreu
Minha avó envelheceu
Eu voltei
Já vou indo
Chorei e vou sorrindo
Enquanto você tá aí sofrendo
Achando que tem graça não ser feliz.

A espera é a morte da expectativa.

Um vai embora

Pra depois voltar

E conhecer a Amazônia




AL         ONE

ALL       ONE

ALL       ONE

     L       ONE 

     L       ONELY





Quanto mais longe das pessoas
Eu fico
Mais bonito o que eu faço

Tem aquele (s) outro (s)
que falam do outro
- louca, polêmica, deu trabalho (coitada da mãe), cortou o cabelo
(ixi raspou, oba cresceu)
Deus e o Diabo
A bebida e a sanidade
O Estado e o terrêro
para explicar
o que na verdade se chama

O seu mau trato

tem a ver com o trato
que eu dou pra mim mesma

Final de ano

E todo mundo quer sair

Ao mesmo tempo

Da cidade que mora

E ir para onde nasceu

Na volta,

Vê o pasto e

Agradece o padastro

Pelo mexido esquentado

Passa dois dias

E fica desesperado para sair

De onde o parente morreu

E ir pra onde o dinheiro escolheu.

Pulou as sete ondas

E fingiu que esqueceu

Que a vida é estreita

E que o seu parente morreu.

Amou o feriado

Mas reclamou dos carros.

Amou a praia

Mas reclamou do sol.

Amou a festa

Mas reclamou que não usava uma camisa nova.


No débito dos próximos 365 dias

Juntando o dinheiro para escolher

o lugar que vai querer

pular a onda com o seu champange

Tudo isso para esquecer os dias que ele mesmo prometeu


na volta.

(Começa de novo)

Como pode ser

O maior medo do ser


é o de ser demitido.

E você sempre há de apaixonar

por quem só quer te judiar. 

Tópicos nos trópicos

Todos os dias eu me sinto silenciada.

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